As with many things, there are some who want to bottom as if they are in a marathon, requiring the need to stay in tip top shape for hours. For that, DamagedBttm suggest either “not eating for the eight hours before your initial douche,” or to “clean out beyond your rectum and into your colon.”

This is no newbie step and generally requires a shower attachment. “I’m not very familiar on methods of douching this deep,” Damaged warns. He also says that Imodium, an anti-diarrhea supplement, could prove clutch here. If you decide to take a pill though, make sure you read the instructions.

Your body – particularly your butt – is filled with muscles. One important part of bottoming is about relaxing those muscles. “There’s no one size fits all answer, so you have to do some self exploration into what helps you,” Damaged admits.

His advice: focus on your breath like you do in yoga. Try breathing deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Also maybe think of trying poppers, which are a bit of a short term fix. “If you’re new, after about 45 seconds your hole will start to close and you’ll be at square one,” he warns. So even if you do use them, still work on breathing and otherwise relaxing. Also, as he later notes, poppers are a vasodilator https://hookupdate.net/wildbuddies-review/ so if you’re already taking a vasodilator -like Viagra – you should not mix the two.

Does foreplay help you relax during anal sex?

While people might get right to it in the movies, some foreplay could go a long way in real life. DamagedBttm suggests rimming – mandates it actually.

“First of all, rimming should be a requirement,” he writes. “It feels about 80% as good as bottoming but requires 2% of the effort. If your body is actively clenching, rimming is a great way to get it to calm down.” Damaged recommends five minutes at least. Also try fingering on for size.

“I refuse to let anyone finger me because I absolutely hate the way a finger feels, but some people find it helpful,” he admits. “Be sure there is lube on the finger. Tops are morons and often think they can just slam a dry, bony finger right into your ass.”

How important is lube during sex?

“Lube is amazing,” Damaged says simply. “Lube is important. Lube is necessary. Unless you as a bottom know that you can just use spit/no lube, do not let a top try to enter you with out it.” Lube should be used with fingers, toys, and any anal insertion really. He personally prefers silicone-based lube like this one from Mister B but notes it is harder to get off of you and out of sheets. Silicone-based lubes also do not do well with some toys, so you may also want to experiment with water-based.

What positions are best for gay sex?

“Everybody has different favorites because every body is slightly different,” he says. That means exploring different ones to find your favorite. From his personal experience, doggy style provides prostate access but makes kissing during sex difficult. Similarly, sex with the bottom on their stomach provides similar prostate access and the top can “wrap their arm around your neck and choke you, and easy-ish to make out.” Missionary provides more control from the bottom’s perspective, and includes eye contact and intimacy. And then there’s riding.

“I personally believe that bottoms should not have to put in that much effort since we spend 20-60 minutes prepping before sex, so I don’t do it often,” Damaged says. “I also have a bad knee so it hurts. It’s good for beginners because you have the most control.”